Pandemonium

So last month was crazy... stressful... out of control... unpredictable... heart wrenching (literally heart hurting kinda hurt)... confusing... scary... sad... All in All Unstable!

Things are changing...
I have avoided reading specifics to avoid the possibility of being hurt worse, but I made the decision to read today with the hopes that the hurt would help. It's possible my idea may have been the right decision.

I'll never fully understand how 2 beings that are so different are supposed to be united in some way shape or form. Whether it's marriage or dating, how is man and woman the "ideal" couple?
(umm...let me make my self clear when I say... No I'm not changing teams! :)

Maybe I only question it because I haven't found the right man for me? If someone makes me happy and loves me I am willing to do anything for that person. Man or woman and in any form of relationship.

I am an honest person a loyal person an intellegent person a sincere person a positive person an ambitous person...

I want to be with someone who is all of these things back without hesitation or doubt.
I don't think that being with someone is a must, but I am a human being and we naturally get lonely and long for companionship.

I like the direction my life is headed ahora...
I am very pleased with the decisions I've made this year...

I am excited about my future and I know that certain things have not taken place in my life and have taken place in my life because it's all a process of becoming stronger and becoming the person I'm destined to be!

There is a plan for me and in this plan will be great people and great affairs. It's already happening. I've had some incredible conversations with incredible people over the last few days!
"if you take the ica off the end of your name and put it in the front it says i c a angel..." How sweet is that?!?!? :)

I made a few decisions today and all of them were based on me and my needs. I can't change the way people percieve me, but I can change the way I percieve me and I'm worth more than this...
There isn't a remote in the world that could rewind my life, change it and make it any better than it is right now.
2009 has been absolute chaos! Exciting, sad, scary, intriguing, but all in all I've survived every curve ball that's been thrown my way and I'm confident I'm surviving this one...